Day 6

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Marriage. It is the hardest, but most rewarding thing I've ever done (and I'm still doing it!). You have to learn to live with another person, and you learn to love that person even though he snores when he's sick. You have to get past the honeymoon stage and learn to talk to each other, to listen to each other, to really communicate and connect with each other. 

It's hard; it's work. The Disney movies never tell you that you have to earn your happily ever after, that you have to work hard to get and keep your happily ever after. They forget to mention that happily ever after is not always happy. 

In spite of and maybe because of all of this, it's the best thing I've ever done, it's the best thing I'm doing, and I wouldn't change a moment. 

   

Day 5

5. What are the five things that make you the happiest right now?

1.      Jake—duh.

2.      The way my story is progressing.

3.      Modern Family

4.      Guinevere

5.      That one of my best friends is 7 months pregnant!!

Day 4

4. List 10 things you would tell your sixteen-year-old self.

1. You will find a husband. You will not die alone--well, maybe you will, I'm not there yet, but you have people who love you dearly, so stop being so stupid!
2. You're not fat. Just trust me on this, okay?
3. Your senior year, you will choose to date a boy instead of playing sports. I get that you'll be taking three AP classes, but choose the sports. He's not worth it. You'll spend more time regretting not playing waterpolo your senior year.
4. Dance. Have fun. Stop worrying about what people will think. You're a geek, so no one is thinking about what you're doing anyway. 
5. Keep writing music. Write. Always write. 
6. Build a better relationship with you family: your parents, your siblings, your grandparents, everyone.
7. In your senior year, you and Kastle will work on a project together. Double check ALL your spelling....especially the word "Production." 
8. Let your hair grow out. 
9.  Hug your cat. He's going to leave you before you're ready. 
10. Play outside. Surf. Enjoy Hawaii. You're going to leave it one day; love ever moment you have there. Actually, just enjoy life. There will come a day when you'll miss playing Trumps with all your friends after early morning seminary; you won't miss high school, but you'll move away from the friends that you made, and you'll miss them. Spend more time with them.

Day 3

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

This is a hard one for me because it's changed so much. My relationship with my parents is different now from how it was five years ago. I guess a lot changes in five years for most people, but it did a whole 180 for me. 

My relationship with my parents is like a line from a Taylor Swift song: "We learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts." It's broken and whole at the same time. There are pieces that used to be there that aren't there anymore, and I have to find a way to live with it, and fix it at the same time. I think most mosaics are beautiful because of their broken yet whole quality, but I don't know that I'd ever want to describe a relationship like that. 

I guess, I think we are all broken somehow, and so when we find people that make use feel whole, we think we are whole, but we're not really, we're just more whole than we were on our own. We're all mosaics looking for other mosaics who can help us fill in the cracks and feel more whole.

I digress. My relationship with my parents is a garden. There's a lot of beautiful flowers, but there are some weeds that need pulling as well. I trust them, but not the way I used to. I understand them, but not the way I used to. Things are ever-changing, and ever-growing, and stagnant all at the same time.

Day 2

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1. Bees: When I was in kindergarten, my mom thought it'd be okay if I watched the Sci-fi movie Killer Bees. I was traumatized (if you've never seen the movie, imagine Hitchcock's Birds, but with African Killer Bees and more screaming). I saw these terrifying stingers of death go into people's mouths and ears and up their noses and come out through their stomachs as they blew-up in a horrific explosion of bees and flesh (I told you I was traumatized). Later on in the week, my mom got a call from my kindergarten teacher, "Hello, Mrs. Palmer. We seem to be having some problems with Danica. During recess, she won't go outside. She only repeats 'bees' over and over again as an explanation to our inquiries." I remember my aunt coming to visit us over the summer (we lived in Nebraska that year), and she and Audrey were eating popsicles. I wanted one, but in order to eat a popsicle, I had to go outside. There was no way I was trading my life for a popsicle. To this day, if something buzzes around me, I experience an involuntary freak-out.
2.  Waking up and finding my cat died: Losing Bigotes  hit me really hard. It was the first time I had ever lost someone really close to me. Ever since bringing Gwen home, I fear waking up and finding her dead in the house somewhere from something I could have prevented, like choking on some piece of something I should have picked up. I pick her up and hold her (much to her dismay sometimes) and just relish the life in her. I know she will die before I will (I'm not insane; I know she's a cat), but I just pray she doesn't die before she's had a long and happy life.
3. Jake dying: I think this one is pretty universal. Anytime we allow someone into our lives that mean the whole world to us, we set ourselves up for the nightmares: "He said he was going to be home two hours ago....that's it! He's dead on the side of the road somewhere. I'm only 20, and I'm a widow." The worst part is that I have a very vivid and over-active imagination. Ever since I let this wonderful man into my life, one of my biggest fears has been losing him. I made him promise that he wouldn't die until after I did (I don't know if you can keep those kinds of promises, but I'm going with "yes, you can"!).

Day 1

1. List 20 random facts about yourself

1. I am self-conscious about my skin. Ever since I turned 12 and got my first pimple, I've been self-conscious about it. 
2. I love pens, especially brightly colored pens. I anxiously await the beginning of school for the sole purpose of buying pens. 
3. If I didn't need money to survive, I would never work. I would write all day.
4. I hit 100,000 words on my book yesterday.
5. I always wanted to wear glasses; I now have reading glasses, but I don't think it's the same. 
6. When I have nothing to do, I sometimes daydream about sitting in a Barnes & Noble in New York for a book signing. I sign thousands of my books for my adoring readers. 
7. When I have lots to do,  I sometimes daydream about sitting in a Barnes & Noble in New York for a book signing. I sign thousands of my books for my adoring readers. (I think about it a lot).
8. I am incredibly meticulous about proofreading, and it frustrates me to no end when I publish something as little as an update on Facebook with a typo. 
9. I want to be a runner, but there's one problem: I hate running. 
10. I like how I look with earrings.
11. I'd like to wear make-up; I just don't know how. 
12. My wardrobe relies heavily on the "jeans and a T-shirt" look.
13. If I consider myself a better writer than you, I'll have a really hard time taking good criticism on my writing from you--although I will eventually do so when I see you are right.
14. I consider writing, knitting, and general crafting to be on my very short list of things I'm good at.
15. I have a very long list of things I'm bad at.
16. I don't mind ending sentences in prepositional phrases.
17. I love cats. Truthfully, I love all animals (except bees).
18. I'm terrified of bees, hornets, and anything else that can fly and sting me. 
19. I really wanted to be a marine-biologist for a long time, and then, I found out I suck at biology. 
20. I want to go to grad school, but I'm scared I'll never find one that will accept me.

Trying to get out of a slump with a list of 30 to-answers

So a friend of mine is doing this, and since I've been a failure at blogging lately (mostly due to the fact that we don't have internet at my house), I thought this would get me back into the groove of things.

Over the next bit of time (probably over the next 30 school days), I will complete the following list:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your sixteen-year-old self.
5. What are the five things that make you the most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have right now?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10.. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. List 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 of your strengths.
15.If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are 5 of your greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with is first?
22.Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic from your childhood vs. now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you thing the world has wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you hope to be remembered for.