should be..but isn’t

So, i should be working on my gianormous research paper that’s due next Friday. but i’m not. my brain has decided to go on vacation earlier. it’s Not allowed to do that! i have to have a finished full draft of it by tonight 7pm if i’m going to enjoy or be able to give any thanks on this up coming thanksgiving. thanksgiving is tomorrow and for some reason, as excited as i’ve been, i couldn’t really care less right now. i need my brain to focus.

we’ve been having issues; my brain and i. Yesterday while i was tutoring some poor innocent EIL student, my brain froze and decided to do a system re-boot right there on the spot. i even got kind of dizzy and momentarily worried about passing out. (“Well, Professor. i went to the RWC, but my tutor passed out in the middle of the tutorial…so do i still get credit for going?”)

i think i might watch Glee, give my brain a good rest and then just jump into the whole thing. i can do that right? relax a little and then get going. but then when you think about working our, like when you’re running, they always tell you to just finish and not stop and rest because then its like a hundred million times harder to get up and go again…maybe i’ll go for a run instead. maybe i’ll do both.

oh dear. ok. Glee. (maybe Foodland for some chocolate or, those Canterbury eggs to munch on while i’m writing my paper) and THEN Beloved, LOOK OUT. here i come. i’m going to analyze the monkeys out of you…

breath. (don’t look down)

jump

here we go

splash. :)

i. give. up.

unnumbered essays

unnumbered books

all to be read by a certain time.

i never want to see another word again. i don’t even want to proofread this to make sure i didn’t spell anything weird or change my tense upteen times. is upteen even a word? i feel an ache all through my body and its telling me i need sleep. lots and lots of sleep. and i’ve slept. yesterday, today and probably tomorrow. but i can’t afford to. i need to work. i need to read, i need to edit and proofread and reread and rewrite and there’s too much to do. not enough time. why do i do this to myself every semester. sure i do it. but its miserable.

magic would be a super help.

oh well.

you know how it goes..win some…lose more.

ttfn

to my mystical readers

sometimes i feel like you're this invisible magical force that listens to me. like i'm this tiny little dot of a person floating around in the universe and you're a bigger force, not the biggest force, but a bigger one than i am. you find ways to soothe my troubled soul. maybe writing always does that. it always has for me.

something about seeing the words in your mind spill in to words on a screen in front of you is soothing. it's like some things do make sense.

thanks for being there. i know there aren't many of you. i know really only of a few of you, but thanks. thanks for reading. thanks for turning my thoughts into yours and thinking of me if even only for a minute. thanks for thinking of us. :)