A catharsis...

It's weird. I never thought I'd be here. You're wondering where here is. Here is applied for Grad school, waiting, and missing BYUH. I have literally thousands of old emails stored up. I thought I'd go through and delete a bunch. I had some there from 2007. It's really funny to see my emails from 2008 through now. I can tell where in the semester I was without looking at the date of the email simply looking at which professors I was getting emails from: "Oh, that email is from so-and-so, that was my second semester of school" It's odd. Sometimes I feel like I'm having a heart attack all the time (I'm sure my love of hot cocoa and immense dislike of working out isn't helping). I feel stressed all the time. I miss Hawaii. I always knew I would. How does anyone live anywhere for 11 years, and then not miss it when you leave? November wasn't so bad. I had NaNoWriMo to keep my mind occupied. National Novel Writing Month. I did it, by the way. I wrote my 50,000 words. It wasn't the first time I had written that much, but it was the first time I had written it all within the time-span of a single month. This won't make sense. I feel jittery and nervous. I'm a rabbit, and everyone else is a fox. I'm just waiting for the pounce. I can't exactly fully explain what I'm feeling. It's the limbo period, and I hate limbo, the game, the song, the metaphysical meaning... every thing. I'm ready for Christmas. I'm ready for something to take my mind off of school. It's odd that I'm actually somewhere where it could snow (probably won't but still) and all I crave is the ocean and rain. That's Christmas to me: grey skies, rain, and a crashing ocean. It's going to be a long three months...