don't worry...be happy

i know this is going to sound horribly selfish of me. but sometimes i forget what it is i love about hawaii so much. i know that those of you who have only ever visited won't understand. it's living in the same place for ten years, living through the tsumani warnings and the oh-my-gosh-we're-gunna-die storms ;) it's all the flood warnings and the praying your house will live through it that makes you forget that you live in hawaii. it's not being able to take a road trip to see your best friend's wedding (either of your best friends) because you live on an island.

but today isn't about those things.
today is about the palm trees. the way the wind is warm. the way the air is sweet--of course after you've eaten 1/3 of a loaf of cinnamon-banana bread with a cream cheese frosting, everything tastes sweet. today is about how you can watch the ocean for hours and feel like it's only been a couple minutes. it's about that one of a kind nap that comes only from surfing for 3 hours and being baked in the sun. (not baked like on drugs but baked as in sun baked).

today is about the immense love and saddness i have. i love hawaii. it's become so much a part of who i am and what i am. i want my children to grow up with ocean water in their veins and sand between their toes. i want them to love the ocean, to love the sky and the palm trees, and the wind, and the way the air is so humid you can almost drink it. i want them to look back on their childhood and know what it smells like when a plumeria tree has bloomed. what it tastes like to drink water from a hose. i want to scrub their little red feet that are stained because they never wear their shoes. --and this is where the saddness comes in.-- i also want them to get a good education. i want them to be clever and to be understood. as a tutor i've met kids here that went to some of the best ILH (Interscholastic League of Honolulu; they're basically the rich private schools of Hawaii) and can't write a thesis statement. I've met some that don't know what a run-on sentence is or how to fix one.

i love hawaii. i'm sad to leave it. but .... but i also can feel it--in my toes--i can feel that it's time to move on, not away, just on for now. we'll come back. i know we will. you can't live somewhere for 11 years and not come back. it just doesn't work that way. :)