breath...

i believe i will cease my interations with men at this point in my life....oh yes, i've said this many a time, and every time my heart falls weakly proving my humanity more and more. but i find i pick the wrong sorts. i discovered over a fantastically wild summer that i am more than able of existing on my own. i can and have formed friendships and more importantly i have begun to find the person i want to be, the person that i was is someone irratable and frustrated. men make me this way. when it was only the beach, me and work, i was calm and carefree, i allowed things to come and go as they pleased and i felt no obligation to anyone or anything. my sole purpose was to renew my soul in the oceans sweet waves and allow her to be the one great power over me.

unfortunately school has started and i find myself being roped in by that world of men once again. i miss my carefree self, i do not remember how to be carefree when around these apollonian men. i need the water, i need to remember to breath

"thanks for being there"

Perhaps that is all I am ever meant to do. Simply to act the crutch to those who need support. To succor their hearts between heartbreaks but never to be truly taken in by them. I am merely the stepping stone to their next great and grand adventure. My hearts sinks at this epiphany. For how my it grieves, how it longs for a soul with whom I may love and be loved, with whom my greatest wants, wishes, desires and fears are to be confided. But nay. I fear my destiny is only to act as a support. To fall for those around me, to care for them just long enough to build their confidence so they may shed me like a skin too small and move on to the one they will really love, to one that they will not out grow but grow with. How melancholy this news is.

sailing abroad the grand open sea

Upon casting off, I found myself instantly in love, fascinatingly drawn in; I found I could not take my eyes off the ocean. I had always known of my affections for her salty kisses that enveloped me upon entering into her mists, but I’d never really relished the amount of joy I drew simply by gazing upon her.

This is the boat I rode upon. For now she rides with no name and a captain that is still rather green, though growing each day. I suspect we are all captains of our own vessels that are still rather new to us, and we also enlist the help of friends and family to help us steer our course and arrive to our native boat harbor safely without dinging up the boat too badly. As we ventured into the open sea, a weathered sailor, our young captain, his hanai mom and her kin, and I; we took turns steering the boat, learning the various names for various parts. I’ve discovered I’m rather in love with sailing. I understand why people choose to give up all their worldly belongings to venture on quests to sail around the world with only that which will fit on their boats and not a penny more.

There is certainly something invigorating about being able to leave everything behind at a moments notice, knowing everything that is of any importance is right there with you. Men who have not sailed must, it is as John Denver says “he'd be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly." i agree in the sense that he'd be a poorer man if he never sailed the ocean blue.

pilot

Upon entrance of the blogging world i must introduce myself and those who will accompany me on this journey into the unknown. my name is danica palmer, i am 19 years old soon to be twenty! i am an english major, though i am quite a bad speller. i do not like to capatalize and i have recently fell in love with surfing though i have always been one with the water, especially the ocean. i live in hawaii and i love it.

this is to be a record of dreams, a record of hopes, and a record of daily experiences. recently my friend, nelli, who is my kindred spirit, and i have begun embarking on fantastic adventures in our everyday lives, i hope to record them here. i am currently a student and i believe skipping class is healthy as long as you do it in moderation.

for now i close with the hopes and dreams we will meet again soon. and thus my diary has begun